I was paid a tremendous compliment today by a former co-worker. She told me I looked fabulous and then said she didn't want to be rude or anything, but have I lost weight? My head grew three sizes (which helped balance out my hips a little) and I said yes, yes I have. 65 lbs! That totally made my day. It also made me think about rude things that people do say to people who are overweight and how I feel about it. In case you're wondering, asking if I've lost weight is not rude at all.
Things to never say to or about a fat person (unless you want to be an asshole).
Anything regarding a fupa or a gunt. Maybe you aren't fat or overweight and I'm happy for you. Truly. I wouldn't want anyone to suffer from it. However, the old adage about walking a mile in my shoes applies to this situation. Would you want to listen to someone freely make comments if it was you? Imagine if you were listening to someone talk about your child. Fat people are well aware of what we look like. We know we have lumps and bumps and fat rolls in unbecoming areas. My fat body parts are none of your concern.
All you have to do is eat less/stop eating. Really? No fat person on earth has ever come up with that solution, thanks for sharing. For some people it is that simple. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. Food is an addiction for me and countless other people. It's not something that can be treated like quitting drinking, smoking or doing drugs. I wish I could go even an hour without being compelled to eat or think about eating. I love everything about food. But on the other hand, I hate everything about food too. As long as food continues to be something I have to do in order to live, though, it will always be a prison that I cannot escape from.
Anything about the size of a person and how disgusted you are. You might not be commenting specifically about me, but you might as well be. If we're having a conversation about a parent (who I know weighs significantly less than me) at your child's daycare who you say is bigger than a circus tent, what do you think I'm hearing? The fact that you feel justified in making that sort of comment about anyone speaks volumes.
You have such a pretty face…There are a lot of ways to end that sentence and I can't really think of a single good one. The one that I heard most often while I was growing up was…if only you'd lose some weight so the rest of you would catch up. I remember thinking when I was a child how great it was that someone thought my face was pretty. It wasn't until I was older when I heard the person who always told me that say it about someone else and then go on to say what she really thought about the person's appearance. The general theme was she had such a pretty face, but it was a pity that the rest of her was such a mess.
I know that not everyone means such things in any malicious way, but in many instances it absolutely is. Befpre you put voice to any of these comments or anything similar, please think first.
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