Monday, January 26, 2015


I feel like the only fat girl on earth who is not choosing weight-loss surgery.

And just so I'm clear, please don't think this is a diatribe against weight-loss surgery.  As I've said before weight-loss surgery is a powerful tool if that's your choice.  It's not my choice and that's totally ok.

Anyway, I feel like the only fat girl on earth who is not choosing weight-loss surgery.  In the last few months several people I know online have announced they are having surgery.  I know one in real life who is planning it.  I also know about 5 online who have had surgery.  All of the people I know who have had surgery have a history with weightloss and gaining it back multiple times. They know how to lose it, but keeping it off was elusive.  Not my point though. The number of people I know having surgery has made me question myself. Am I doing weightloss wrong?

I would certainly hope no one thought I was doing it wrong.  After all, I've lost 100 ponnds and kept 80 off for about a year.  That's pretty damn spectacular!  (And if you don't think so, keep it to yourself.  I sometimes have impulse control issues and might end up popping you one on the nose).

Why did I not choose surgery?  The idea of surgery is scary. It almost immediately changes how you have to live and eat but offers no guarantee that you will lose the weight and keep it off.  Surgery also doesn't address the reasons I got fat to start with, although in order to remain successful the people who have surgery have to deal with it eventually anyway, from what I understand. Surgery also often offers much quicker (initially) weightloss.  Would I like weightloss to be quick? Absolutely!  Mentally, I don't think I could deal. My overall weightloss has been slow but it has given me an opportunity to get used to the newer version of myself at each step, an opportunity to wrap my head around my new life and choices.

The more I think on it the more I come to see and understand that no matter what method of weightloss you choose, as long as it's healthy and sustainable long term, how can it be wrong?  We
don't all have to choose the same thing and we don't have to justify those choices either.  I know what's the right choice for me.  Second guessing and doubting myself isn't going to change that.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

The return of the prodigal blogger's been almost a year since I've posted.  I have a hard time with consistency.   I'll try my best to do better, but I'm not making any promises.

2014 was an interesting year. In march I had my very first car accident. No one was hurt, just our car. Not too badly though.  Also in March, Flash started having awful ear infections. After several months, multiple food changes, numerous vet visits and an insane amount of money we were able to determine that he is extremely food sensitive and has to be on a special prescription food.  He can't have any regular commercial dog food or treats and can't have any people food whatsoever.  He's been doing great on his new food though. He hasn't had any problems with his ears since we switched the last time.  We went to 2 concerts.  We saw Aloe Blacc and Bruno Mars in the spring and then in July we saw Def Leppard and Kiss.  Both were fantastic.  Then, later in the summer Michael and I decided, mostly because of the massive amounts of money that we had spent taking care of Flash and getting our little cat, Vex, spayed that it wouldn't be very fiscally responsible to take out annual trip to Atlants for Dragon*Con in September, so we cancelled the trip. I was so incredibly disappointed. I love that trip.  But the good news is we started talking about other things we could start saving towards. We've pretty much decided that we're going to London in 2016.  I'm so excited!  Not looking forward to that long flight, but it'll be fine.

Weightloss-wise, I've been a complete and total slack ass.  I had lost 100 lbs.  As of this past week I have gained back about 20 lbs. I'm still considering that pretty damn successful though because it could have been a lot worse.  But before it gets worse I'm choosing to stop it.

This last time. I was here I was feeling bored and just meh on weightloss,  I stopped exercising, I stopped being as mindful about eating.  At least I didn't lose complete control. I made some bad chooses, but I remained binge-free.  This is the longest I've ever been binge free.  At the beginning of the month I planned on restarting my weightloss efforts, but it wasn't until last weekend that I was able to get my head on straight about it.  I charged up my fitbit to help keep track of my steps, I started tracking my food again...I feel hopeful and motivated again!  My overall goal is to be under 200 lbs when we go to London. Can I make it?

Monday, February 3, 2014


I have been a  busy little bee this weekend.  And, yes, I am counting today as part of the weekend since I had the day off. 

Saturday we got our taxes done.  We're getting a sweet refund, thank goodness!  Then we went out and about and did some window shopping.  After we made it home I worked on clipping coupons and organized those.  Well, Michael organized them.  I worked on planning meals.  Sunday morning, bright and early, we went grocery shopping.  With sales and coupons I saved over $100.  That always makes for a happy Monica.  I got a ton of groceries too!  Why, you ask.  Because I had a plan. 

After a long day at work, I want nothing more than to come home, ring a bell and wait on my servants to bring me my dinner.  Oh wait, I don't have servants.  So, I like to make my own fast food.  You see, to paraphrase a popular line from a Barbara Mandrell song, I was into freezer cooking before freezer cooking was cool.  Yesterday I made chicken and spinach lasagna rollups, chicken pot pie soup, irish beef stew, and navy bean soup.  Today I made chicken and bean burritos, jambalaya, and three batches of turkey spaghetti.  I now have enough put in the freezer for at least 14 meals with leftovers to take for lunch the next day. 

Lasagna Roll ups
  Irish Beef Stew
Navy Bean Soup

Chicken and Bean Burritos
Spaghetti Sauce with Turkey

Sorry, I have no pictures of the jambalaya or the chicken pot pie soup. 

Not only do I have these meals in the freezer, I also have the ingredients to make a creamy garlic pasta and several different varieties of chicken and a pork chop night.  So now, no matter what I am only a few minutes away from an awesome meal, leaving me time for other knitting.  It also helps me with portion control and not spending money on awful food choices like Burger King, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Captain D's  Zaxby's, etc.  I have had a chance this weekend to get about a third of the way through one baby blanket and got the yarn for 2 more. 
Michael wants everyone to know that he rolled each of these skeins into balls for me.  My man:  always willing to help.  He swears I work him like a house-elf, but we all know better. 
Tomorrow I have to go back to work so I can make money.  Oh to be a lady of leisure!  Until I make that happen though, I will try to content myself with being a self proclaimed Queen of the Kitchen.   

Saturday, February 1, 2014


Friday was one of those perfect days off. Knitting, shopping, meeting with our insurance agent to talk about The Future. Well maybe not so much the last one, but definitely the first two. The meeting. With our insurance agent was pretty interesting though.  We talked about adding liability umbrella coverage, investments, disability and things we could do to make our retirement easier.  I felt like such a grown up!  And that's something that, even at almost 39 years old, I rarely feel. It was a very interesting meeting. It was also something that our previous insurance company would never have done in a million years.

Once upon a time our car and home were covered by a different insurance company.  For shits and giggles lets call them...Nationwide. We were longtime customers of that company. Specifically we were longtime customers of a particular agent.  That agent was fantastic.  Then he retired and the agent who took over the agency turned into a douchebag. I am a huge fan of customer service. If I'm paying for a service, I kind of expect to get my money's worth and part of getting my money's worth is being treated like a valued customer.  We were not treated like valued customers by this agent. In fact, we were called liars by him after we were charged a late fee several months in a row even though our payment was sent and received well before the due date because the company didn't cash the check in a timely manner. Not acceptable. There were some other things that happened as well, but that was the nail in the proverbial Nationwide coffin.  (So if you live in the Columbia area, stay far away from the Gary Hodge agency if you value customer service).

We went to State Farm. I know a lot of people have had issues with that company, but so far we've had nothing other than a good experience. Like yesterday.  They didn't have to ask us to come in so we could talk about The Future, but they did. At no time did we feel they were pressuring us to buy a product from them. We got some good information and now we have to figure out what to do with it.

Today is going to be another perfect day. We're going to get a little something for breakfast then go get our taxes done.  Then we might go window shopping and just see where else the day takes us.

Thursday, January 30, 2014


This has been a kind odd week. This past weekend they started forecasting snow for Tuesday and Wednesday. Thankfully, the person in charge of the agency I work with decided to cancel work for Tuesday and by the middle of Tuesday, had cancelled work for today also. Even though the sleet and snow didn't start until Tuesday afternoon I was very thankful for the cancellation because it kept Michael and I from worrying all day wondering when it was going to start and when or if we would be able to make it home. Mainly, though I'm just glad we weren't going to have to be out in it. We're southern, we know nothing about functioning in snow and ice. We're just not prepared. For example, this afternoon, Michael went out to clean off the car armed with one glove and a rubber spatula.

This is the last week of my no spending challenge. Parts of it got easier, but parts of it didn't.  I feel like I bought too many grocery items that while they are necessary, weren't immediately necessary. I also paid to have supper out a few times when it wasn't necessary. I did, however, manage not to buy clothes, yarn, accessories, books (instead, I traded some books in for store credit and got some stuff that way) or lunches out. I also did not have my Friday Starbucks latte in January. I'm really looking forward to a latte now. Because of the. No spending challenge, I do want to continue to limit the amount we eat out and to sit down at the beginning of the month and decide how much I'm willing to pay for fun stuff like yarn and clothes. If nothing else I think that will help me stay more mindful of wants, needs and absolute necessities.

During my 2 lovely snow days I've finally had the opportunity to finish knitting a hat and scarf for a friend. All that's left is blocking them and making the tassels. I've really enjoyed the project. They are the first items where I came up with the pattern on my own.  My next project(s) will be baby blankets. There's been a baby boom among the people I know.  One is even having twins!  Lots of knitting is in my future.

Sunday, January 26, 2014


I love Fat Amy. She unapologetically owns who and what she is in a way that gives her an armor against assholes.  It's one thing to own a label before anyone else has an opportunity to label you, but it's something else entirely for anyone else to label you with out your consent.

My grandmother was very overweight for many many years. My grandfather was very skinny. As a couple they were the very picture of the nursery rhyme about Jack Spratt.  I often heard people refer to the two of them as Fat Toye and Poor Sammie. People had the audacity to say this to their faces with no shame and often with a laugh. While I never heard my grandmother make any complaint over her nickname (she wasn't the type who would make waves complaining about something like that) I can only imagine how I would have felt in her shoes. Anytime my brother and I were being normal siblings and picking on each other and I ran in and would complain about him calling me names she would always tell me to remember "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". Out of all the things my grandmother taught me and advice she gave me I call bullshit on this one. Words hold extreme power. The power to make you feel love, happiness, fear, worthlessness, self-hatred. Eleanor Roosevelt said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but what if you don't have the confidence or self worth to know that you don't have to consent to someone being hurtful?

Wednesday, January 22, 2014


This has been a rough week so far. We've been short handed at work combined with just plain being busy, plus having a holiday added in. I feel like my brain is either not running fast enough to keep up with the world around me or the world is in slow motion compared to how my brain is functioning or some combination of the two. I just don't feel like I've got everything running in the same direction at the same time.  Because of this I just need to make sure that I keep my head above water this week in order to consider the week a success.  I might not be perfect with my eating, but I need to stay in control and remain mindful. even though I totally didn't plan on feeling this way this week or plan to have an easy week, I'm not going to beat myself up because I have a need to have an easy week.  The ability to do this and not fall off track is part of what being successful at weightloss looks like to me.

Week 3 no spending challenge in review:
Yesterday marked the end of week 3. I did spend a bit more money than I had planned, but nothing extraordinary. Saturday night I spent $19 on supper for me and my husband and on Monday I spent more than I planned on groceries, but it was all on things that, while I didn't need it right away, will be needed and used soon. Usually at this point in the month I'd be lucky if I had $30 to last until the end of the month.  Thanks to the no spending challenge and the 52 week savings challenge I have almost $200 in my savings account and I almost have enough in my checking account to make my car payment for February. Visible progress!