tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37536899323981312422024-03-14T03:44:44.536-04:00While I Breathe I HopeLife. Weightloss. Recipes. Crafts. Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-40303412387771710352015-01-26T15:23:00.002-05:002015-01-26T15:23:29.163-05:001-26-2015I feel like the only fat girl on earth who is not choosing weight-loss surgery.<br />
<br />
And just so I'm clear, please don't think this is a diatribe against weight-loss surgery. As I've said before weight-loss surgery is a powerful tool if that's your choice. It's not my choice and that's totally ok. <br />
<br />
Anyway, I feel like the only fat girl on earth who is not choosing weight-loss surgery. In the last few months several people I know online have announced they are having surgery. I know one in real life who is planning it. I also know about 5 online who have had surgery. All of the people I know who have had surgery have a history with weightloss and gaining it back multiple times. They know how to lose it, but keeping it off was elusive. Not my point though. The number of people I know having surgery has made me question myself. Am I doing weightloss wrong? <br />
<br />
I would certainly hope no one thought I was doing it wrong. After all, I've lost 100 ponnds and kept 80 off for about a year. That's pretty damn spectacular! (And if you don't think so, keep it to yourself. I sometimes have impulse control issues and might end up popping you one on the nose). <br />
<br />
Why did I not choose surgery? The idea of surgery is scary. It almost immediately changes how you have to live and eat but offers no guarantee that you will lose the weight and keep it off. Surgery also doesn't address the reasons I got fat to start with, although in order to remain successful the people who have surgery have to deal with it eventually anyway, from what I understand. Surgery also often offers much quicker (initially) weightloss. Would I like weightloss to be quick? Absolutely! Mentally, I don't think I could deal. My overall weightloss has been slow but it has given me an opportunity to get used to the newer version of myself at each step, an opportunity to wrap my head around my new life and choices. <br />
<br />
The more I think on it the more I come to see and understand that no matter what method of weightloss you choose, as long as it's healthy and sustainable long term, how can it be wrong? We<br />
don't all have to choose the same thing and we don't have to justify those choices either. I know what's the right choice for me. Second guessing and doubting myself isn't going to change that. Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-48160808808186733862015-01-24T20:58:00.002-05:002015-01-24T20:58:37.205-05:00The return of the prodigal bloggerSo...it's been almost a year since I've posted. I have a hard time with consistency. I'll try my best to do better, but I'm not making any promises.<br />
<br />
2014 was an interesting year. In march I had my very first car accident. No one was hurt, just our car. Not too badly though. Also in March, Flash started having awful ear infections. After several months, multiple food changes, numerous vet visits and an insane amount of money we were able to determine that he is extremely food sensitive and has to be on a special prescription food. He can't have any regular commercial dog food or treats and can't have any people food whatsoever. He's been doing great on his new food though. He hasn't had any problems with his ears since we switched the last time. We went to 2 concerts. We saw Aloe Blacc and Bruno Mars in the spring and then in July we saw Def Leppard and Kiss. Both were fantastic. Then, later in the summer Michael and I decided, mostly because of the massive amounts of money that we had spent taking care of Flash and getting our little cat, Vex, spayed that it wouldn't be very fiscally responsible to take out annual trip to Atlants for Dragon*Con in September, so we cancelled the trip. I was so incredibly disappointed. I love that trip. But the good news is we started talking about other things we could start saving towards. We've pretty much decided that we're going to London in 2016. I'm so excited! Not looking forward to that long flight, but it'll be fine. <br />
<br />
Weightloss-wise, I've been a complete and total slack ass. I had lost 100 lbs. As of this past week I have gained back about 20 lbs. I'm still considering that pretty damn successful though because it could have been a lot worse. But before it gets worse I'm choosing to stop it. <br />
<br />
This last time. I was here I was feeling bored and just meh on weightloss, I stopped exercising, I stopped being as mindful about eating. At least I didn't lose complete control. I made some bad chooses, but I remained binge-free. This is the longest I've ever been binge free. At the beginning of the month I planned on restarting my weightloss efforts, but it wasn't until last weekend that I was able to get my head on straight about it. I charged up my fitbit to help keep track of my steps, I started tracking my food again...I feel hopeful and motivated again! My overall goal is to be under 200 lbs when we go to London. Can I make it? Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-47008394791877802152014-02-03T17:39:00.000-05:002014-02-03T17:39:34.069-05:002-3-14I have been a busy little bee this weekend. And, yes, I am counting today as part of the weekend since I had the day off. <br />
<br />
Saturday we got our taxes done. We're getting a sweet refund, thank goodness! Then we went out and about and did some window shopping. After we made it home I worked on clipping coupons and organized those. Well, Michael organized them. I worked on planning meals. Sunday morning, bright and early, we went grocery shopping. With sales and coupons I saved over $100. That always makes for a happy Monica. I got a ton of groceries too! Why, you ask. Because I had a plan. <br />
<br />
After a long day at work, I want nothing more than to come home, ring a bell and wait on my servants to bring me my dinner. Oh wait, I don't have servants. So, I like to make my own fast food. You see, to paraphrase a popular line from a Barbara Mandrell song, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NN50ZU6jVwM" target="_blank">I was into freezer cooking before freezer cooking was cool.</a> Yesterday I made chicken and spinach lasagna rollups, chicken pot pie soup, irish beef stew, and navy bean soup. Today I made chicken and bean burritos, jambalaya, and three batches of turkey spaghetti. I now have enough put in the freezer for at least 14 meals with leftovers to take for lunch the next day. <br />
<br />
Lasagna Roll ups<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-02/ADCD58DF-F5C5-4184-ACD8-8A934932B0F5_zps1l0z3vav.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-02/ADCD58DF-F5C5-4184-ACD8-8A934932B0F5_zps1l0z3vav.jpg" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
Irish Beef Stew<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-02/B382198C-9BAF-4BD0-8E98-970B464F7C13_zpsckjcq2hs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-02/B382198C-9BAF-4BD0-8E98-970B464F7C13_zpsckjcq2hs.jpg" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
Navy Bean Soup<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-02/FB6BD79A-185B-4C11-9354-A60255D6E578_zpsczblhhca.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-02/FB6BD79A-185B-4C11-9354-A60255D6E578_zpsczblhhca.jpg" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Chicken and Bean Burritos<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-02/E9727A50-0F3A-49B0-AC57-D7AE48FAD900_zpsin1ykuoz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-02/E9727A50-0F3A-49B0-AC57-D7AE48FAD900_zpsin1ykuoz.jpg" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
Spaghetti Sauce with Turkey<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-02/676A3B84-06EC-493C-ABC9-6BC0D3DBB75D_zpsujpdsomg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-02/676A3B84-06EC-493C-ABC9-6BC0D3DBB75D_zpsujpdsomg.jpg" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Sorry, I have no pictures of the jambalaya or the chicken pot pie soup. <br />
<br />
Not only do I have these meals in the freezer, I also have the ingredients to make a creamy garlic pasta and several different varieties of chicken and a pork chop night. So now, no matter what I am only a few minutes away from an awesome meal, leaving me time for other stuff...like knitting. It also helps me with portion control and not spending money on awful food choices like Burger King, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Captain D's Zaxby's, etc. I have had a chance this weekend to get about a third of the way through one baby blanket and got the yarn for 2 more. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-01/0AB6CB34-6C2B-48D5-A350-62711E852B97_zpsa25e0hlq.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-01/0AB6CB34-6C2B-48D5-A350-62711E852B97_zpsa25e0hlq.jpg" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
Michael wants everyone to know that he rolled each of these skeins into balls for me. My man: always willing to help. He swears I work him like a house-elf, but we all know better. <br />
Tomorrow I have to go back to work so I can make money. Oh to be a lady of leisure! Until I make that happen though, I will try to content myself with being a self proclaimed Queen of the Kitchen. Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-7337768642678872582014-02-01T09:07:00.000-05:002014-02-03T17:40:16.445-05:002-1-14Friday was one of those perfect days off. Knitting, shopping, meeting with our insurance agent to talk about The Future. Well maybe not so much the last one, but definitely the first two. The meeting. With our insurance agent was pretty interesting though. We talked about adding liability umbrella coverage, investments, disability and things we could do to make our retirement easier. I felt like such a grown up! And that's something that, even at almost 39 years old, I rarely feel. It was a very interesting meeting. It was also something that our previous insurance company would never have done in a million years.<br />
<br />
Once upon a time our car and home were covered by a different insurance company. For shits and giggles lets call them...Nationwide. We were longtime customers of that company. Specifically we were longtime customers of a particular agent. That agent was fantastic. Then he retired and the agent who took over the agency turned into a douchebag. I am a huge fan of customer service. If I'm paying for a service, I kind of expect to get my money's worth and part of getting my money's worth is being treated like a valued customer. We were not treated like valued customers by this agent. In fact, we were called liars by him after we were charged a late fee several months in a row even though our payment was sent and received well before the due date because the company didn't cash the check in a timely manner. Not acceptable. There were some other things that happened as well, but that was the nail in the proverbial Nationwide coffin. (So if you live in the Columbia area, stay far away from the Gary Hodge agency if you value customer service).<br />
<br />
We went to State Farm. I know a lot of people have had issues with that company, but so far we've had nothing other than a good experience. Like yesterday. They didn't have to ask us to come in so we could talk about The Future, but they did. At no time did we feel they were pressuring us to buy a product from them. We got some good information and now we have to figure out what to do with it.<br />
<br />
Today is going to be another perfect day. We're going to get a little something for breakfast then go get our taxes done. Then we might go window shopping and just see where else the day takes us.Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-11439652280551525562014-01-30T21:41:00.001-05:002014-02-03T17:40:46.725-05:001-30-14This has been a kind odd week. This past weekend they started forecasting snow for Tuesday and Wednesday. Thankfully, the person in charge of the agency I work with decided to cancel work for Tuesday and by the middle of Tuesday, had cancelled work for today also. Even though the sleet and snow didn't start until Tuesday afternoon I was very thankful for the cancellation because it kept Michael and I from worrying all day wondering when it was going to start and when or if we would be able to make it home. Mainly, though I'm just glad we weren't going to have to be out in it. We're southern, we know nothing about functioning in snow and ice. We're just not prepared. For example, this afternoon, Michael went out to clean off the car armed with one glove and a rubber spatula.<br />
<br />
This is the last week of my no spending challenge. Parts of it got easier, but parts of it didn't. I feel like I bought too many grocery items that while they are necessary, weren't immediately necessary. I also paid to have supper out a few times when it wasn't necessary. I did, however, manage not to buy clothes, yarn, accessories, books (instead, I traded some books in for store credit and got some stuff that way) or lunches out. I also did not have my Friday Starbucks latte in January. I'm really looking forward to a latte now. Because of the. No spending challenge, I do want to continue to limit the amount we eat out and to sit down at the beginning of the month and decide how much I'm willing to pay for fun stuff like yarn and clothes. If nothing else I think that will help me stay more mindful of wants, needs and absolute necessities.<br />
<br />
During my 2 lovely snow days I've finally had the opportunity to finish knitting a hat and scarf for a friend. All that's left is blocking them and making the tassels. I've really enjoyed the project. They are the first items where I came up with the pattern on my own. My next project(s) will be baby blankets. There's been a baby boom among the people I know. One is even having twins! Lots of knitting is in my future.<br />
<br />Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-46282465726495989092014-01-26T20:04:00.000-05:002014-02-03T17:41:10.362-05:001-26-14I love Fat <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac5MxK4x0V4&feature=youtube_gdata_player" target="_blank">Amy</a>. She unapologetically owns who and what she is in a way that gives her an armor against assholes. It's one thing to own a label before anyone else has an opportunity to label you, but it's something else entirely for anyone else to label you with out your consent.<br />
<br />
My grandmother was very overweight for many many years. My grandfather was very skinny. As a couple they were the very picture of the nursery rhyme about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Sprat" target="_blank">Jack Spratt</a>. I often heard people refer to the two of them as Fat Toye and Poor Sammie. People had the audacity to say this to their faces with no shame and often with a laugh. While I never heard my grandmother make any complaint over her nickname (she wasn't the type who would make waves complaining about something like that) I can only imagine how I would have felt in her shoes. Anytime my brother and I were being normal siblings and picking on each other and I ran in and would complain about him calling me names she would always tell me to remember "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". Out of all the things my grandmother taught me and advice she gave me I call bullshit on this one. Words hold extreme power. The power to make you feel love, happiness, fear, worthlessness, self-hatred. Eleanor Roosevelt said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but what if you don't have the confidence or self worth to know that you don't have to consent to someone being hurtful? Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-10234360342179191392014-01-22T21:17:00.000-05:002014-02-03T17:41:50.424-05:001-22-14This has been a rough week so far. We've been short handed at work combined with just plain being busy, plus having a holiday added in. I feel like my brain is either not running fast enough to keep up with the world around me or the world is in slow motion compared to how my brain is functioning or some combination of the two. I just don't feel like I've got everything running in the same direction at the same time. Because of this I just need to make sure that I keep my head above water this week in order to consider the week a success. I might not be perfect with my eating, but I need to stay in control and remain mindful. even though I totally didn't plan on feeling this way this week or plan to have an easy week, I'm not going to beat myself up because I have a need to have an easy week. The ability to do this and not fall off track is part of what being successful at weightloss looks like to me.<br />
<br />
Week 3 no spending challenge in review:<br />
Yesterday marked the end of week 3. I did spend a bit more money than I had planned, but nothing extraordinary. Saturday night I spent $19 on supper for me and my husband and on Monday I spent more than I planned on groceries, but it was all on things that, while I didn't need it right away, will be needed and used soon. Usually at this point in the month I'd be lucky if I had $30 to last until the end of the month. Thanks to the no spending challenge and the 52 week savings challenge I have almost $200 in my savings account and I almost have enough in my checking account to make my car payment for February. Visible progress! Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-16375168904746211702014-01-15T21:29:00.000-05:002014-01-16T06:04:15.251-05:001-15-14Yesterday was the end of the second week of my no spending challenge. This week was a little easier to get through than the one before. It seemed a little easier to not think about spending so much. One thing that stands out to me more and more is the sheer number of emails I get about things on sale! Do you realize how many places have sales during January? A ton! And they all seem to be for yarn and shoes and clothes and books and kitchen gadgets. All the things I like to buy. All these deals say that they're exclusive and just for me. One day I need to sit down and unsubscribe to all these emails so I won't be tempted by them. As an added benefit I wouldn't have to spend all that time going through the emails and deleting them.<br />
<br />
Last week the challenge included going through and inventorying my supply of food in the freezer and cabinets. This week the challenge included cleaning and organizing. I have done some cleaning and organizing, but let's face it. Neither of these are my strong suit. It's going to take longer than the challenge gave for me to accomplish it, but it will happen.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow is payday! Tomorrow is also the first installment of my 52 week savings challenge. I'll be depositing $103 into my savings which will represent weeks one and two of the challenge. So far I feel good about my progress. I've only had 2 small slip ups. I went a little overboard with my fruit and veggie purchases for the week and I also had to buy a set of double pointed knitting needles for a project I'm working on. I definitely see areas where I can improve.Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-55792913728076883612014-01-12T03:38:00.000-05:002014-01-27T02:23:42.702-05:001-12-14I've been thinking a lot in the past week about what inspires and motivates me. The reason it's been on mind is that I've heard from a lot of people in the past week, and honestly longer, that my weightloss and attitude about my weightloss inspires them and has helped motivate them. People look up to me and respect the efforts I've made in the past 2+ years of my weightloss. While I am uncomfortable being anyone's inspiration (unless it's as a caveat of what not to do), I am also deeply moved and gratified by your thoughts.<br />
<br />
<h2>
What inspires me and motivates me</h2>
I am inspired by people who make exercise and healthful living a normal part of their life. The person who sticks out in my mind is a person I know from various web communities I've belonged to over the years. She gets up early and goes to the gym every morning before work. She eats the right fuel for her body. She makes herself and her health a priority. She does this quietly and doesn't expect parades or parties in her honor. It's just what she does to stay and be healthy. And you know what? It totally pays off! She's gorgeous! (that bitch). That's the kind of life I want and am trying to craft for myself (except, who am I kidding? I totally want parades and parties).<br />
<br />
I am motivated by a lot.<br />
<br />
First of all I'm motivated by myself. I know that sounds conceited, but really I don't feel that it is. I don't want to be the Monica from 2 years ago. That Monica was killing herself without even really knowing. She was miserable. I do not want to be that Monica! When I feel my motivation slipping or when I feel super extra hungry or when I catch myself slipping into old habits, I think of that Monica and remember the bad stuff from 100 lbs ago.<br />
<br />
I am motivated by tv shows about weightloss. Think shows like Biggest Loser or My 600lb Life or Extreme Weightloss. While I don't think shows like these always represent a true picture of healthy, sustainable weightloss I love seeing people turn their lives around.<br />
<br />
I am motivated by every person who has ever said that a morbidly obese person can't lose weight without surgery. Every time I hear a comment like this whether it is in the media or real life, I think to myself, 'oh yeah? Watch me!'. *please note that I do not say this as a commentary against weightloss surgery, only that I knew it wasn't the choice for me. Weightloss surgery is a powerful tool that should not ever be discounted.<br />
<br />
I am motivated by my husband and being a model of health for him. I'm not getting into my reasons for that, because I don't want to get into anything that he might feel is too private. Let's just leave it at he's my husband. I love him and want him around for a long time.<br />
<br />
And finally, I am motivated by all of you. Every comment and like on Facebook, everytime someone's face lights up when I tell them how much I've lost, every time anyone compliments me. I don't want that to stop, so I'm going to keep going.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I feel that I can't be anyone's inspiration until I've gotten to a healthy weight and have successfully maintained it for a while, but I don't think that's really fair. I think it's important for people to see the struggle of weightloss and not only the end result. It humanizes weight issues.<br />
<br />
So thank you to anyone who might look to me for inspiration and motivation. I will try to do right by you by doing right by me.Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-64348077679164156542014-01-07T20:26:00.000-05:002014-01-16T06:04:45.477-05:001-7-14No Spending Challenge Week 1 review.<br />
<br />
I like spending money. I miss spending money. This week I've wanted everything. I have never been so glad that I put my credit card away and my debit card is in the safekeeping of my husband. I've been doing a lot of online window shopping and dreaming about what I'll do when this challenge is over. The one thing I know for sure is that I will be buying dinner from somewhere. I am already tired of my own cooking. Thankfully I had a pretty good stockpile of groceries in my freezer and cabinets, so at least we'll be able to have fairly good meals for the month. Thank goodness for couponing and being able to stock up on things. Couponing. That's something else I miss. I'm still collecting coupons and I am counting down the days until I can plan out a big grocery shopping trip with lots of coupons and sales. It's really hard to resist the sweet siren call of double coupons at Bi-lo.<br />
<br />
Overall, I'm glad I'm doing this challenge. I believe it really will help me get my mind in the right place to save money this year and get a handle on my money. Right now I know that February 1 I'll be buying dinner for me and Michael and then on February 2 I'll make a big grocery trip, but other than that, I'm going to do my best to continue spending as little as possible. Right now it seems possible. Ask me if I still feel that way when it gets to the last week of the month.Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-16131864787753553752014-01-05T15:08:00.001-05:002014-01-16T06:05:10.026-05:001-5-14Happy new year!<br />
<br />
I don't know abut anyone else, but I was so darn glad to see the end of 2013. Overall the year was good, but from the end of September through the first part of December sucked big, hairy, smelly donkey nuts.<br />
<br />
At the end of September our air conditioning went out and we had to get a new unit. Then we had some plumbing issues that we had to take care of. We were hemorraging money, it felt like.Then November came. It went well for a while. Michael and I celebrated our 11th anniversary. Then our car started acting up. It finally got to the point where we had to take it to get looked at. After all, we only have one car and we didn't want to get left somewhere. We hoped it would be a simple and fairly inexpensive fix. Ha! Little did we know. It turned out to be a bad transmission that would cost way, way more than we had. So exactly eight years to the day we had gotten our Beetle we found ourselves getting a new car. I like the new car (2014 Camry), but I miss my bug. It was my dream car and so much fun! And more importantly it was paid for. To say all of that put a damper on our Christmas would be a vast understatement. I have been incredibly stressed out because of money and trying to make sure we can afford everything we need to. I've also been sick off and on since October with sinus issues. I think I finally have that under control now, though. Anyway, I'm ready for the fresh start of a new year.<br />
<br />
I feel like I've got some exciting things in the works for 2014, mostly having to do with money. First of all, a coworker and I are doing a 52 week savings challenge. Each week you're supposed to put an amount of money into your savings. Week one= $1, week 2 = $2 and so on and so forth. We're doing it a little differently though. We're switching it around so that week 1 is $52, week 2 is $51...for me I'm doing it a little differently still. Every payday I'm transferring the amount for the 2 or 3 weeks into my savings. I've already done all my calculations and scheduled all of the transfers into savings so that I wont have any excuses. It's already done and I won't have to think about it at all. And the best thing is that by the end of the year I'll have saved $1387. Second of all the same coworker and I are doing a monthlong no spending challenge. Well, it's more of an only spend what you absolutely have to to survive challenge. We're keeping each other honest so far. I'm allowing myself to buy fresh fruits and veggies as needed, but not much else. We're also using the mint.com app on our phones to keep track of our spending and saving and to develope a good, workable budget for ourselves. My goal for the year is to pay off 2 small store credit cards, save the money for my next tattoo and to get a nice start on the money we'll need for our next big trip: London 2016 or 2015. I don't remember which one Michael and I agreed on. <br />
<br />
I also want to make a plan for this blog. I neglect it because I don't have a plan to stick to. I need to make time to figure that out. I also need to make time to respond to some people who have recently reached out to me. I tend to put stuff like that off until I have the perfect opportunity to focus on it, but sometimes you just have to make the opportunity instead of waiting for it to appear.<br />
<br />
And last, but not least....weight. As of this morning I have lost 103 lbs! I was sticking right at 98 lbs gone, but. This morning i made it!! I have lost 100 lbs. all by myself with hard work and determination. My next goal is to make it to 230 lbs which is the weight on my driver's license. Overall, I'd like to lose at least 30 lbs, hopefully more by the end of the year. I'd love to be under 200 sometime this year, but I'm not going to let it stop me if I don't make it.Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-42306421151361808472013-11-02T22:04:00.002-04:002014-01-16T06:05:27.948-05:0011-2-13The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same<br />
<br />
In the past two years I've made lots of positive changes in my life. One of the more important changes is taking control of my relationship with food and binge eating. That's not to say I no longer have problems w ith food and binge eating, just that it's much less often. Tonight was one of those nights where there were problems.<br />
<br />
First let me tell you about my weekend so far. I took Thursday, Friday and Monday off of work this weekend because I'm faced with the most wonderful problem of employment ever: use your leave or lose it. So use it I shall. Thursday I was at home by myself. I hadn't planned on doing anything at all except for knitting, drinking coffee and spoiling Zed, Vex and Flash and napping. I woke up around 7-ish and made myself some grits for breakfast. Then I went through some of my clothes to see if there was anything that I couldn't wear any more, knit a little, made myself a tomato sandwich for lunch, waited on a repairman to fix our sofa, napped, made supper, knit some more. Overall a great, relaxing day. Food wise I did fantastic! I usually have a really hard time when I'm home by myself with controlling my eating. It usually turns into an all I can eat buffet of bad choices and sneak eating. I'm proud that Thursday didn't turn into that day. Friday Michael and I went grocery shopping with his dad, then we went to get a late lunch at Huhot where I got lots of veggies with chicken, which was awesome because lately I've had to eat way too much of my own cooking. After lunch we went to Michael's so I could get stitch markers and point protectors for knitting needles. Then I had a brief and fruitless search for boots. Today, we got up early to take the car to get the oil changed, I bought a turkey roaster for thanksgiving, went to Target, went to World Market came home, napped.<br />
<br />
After my nap, Michael and I decided to go out for an early dinner. We decided to go to a local Chinese buffet. I started out with sushi. Usually when we go to this buffet I fill up on everything else and either pass on the sushi or stuff myself and end up miserable. I had the sushi, then moved on to the rest of the tasty Chinese food. I made sure I ate slowly and if I didn't like something I didn't eat more of it. I didn't think I had eaten all that much, but by the time we were finished I was miserable. I seriously considered making myself throw up, but that's too much of a slippery slope. I finally feel better, but feeling so stuffed was miserable. I don't even remember the last time I felt like that. Looking back on it, I recognize that I ignored that my hunger was satisfied and instead just focused on how tasty the food was. Major mindfulness failure.<br />
<br />
No matter how miserable I was, it was a good reminder that I do need to maintain constant vigilance (Mad-Eye Moody) so that i don't fall into old habits again.Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-6421716805422394842013-10-27T22:18:00.001-04:002013-10-28T05:55:22.386-04:0010-27-13The last couple weeks have been kind of up and down for me. I've been thinking a lot about the progress I've made in the past 2 years. I've lost over 80 lbs and that's pretty damn amazing no matter how heavy you are or were. But I can't help but feel a little sad too because while I've lost a lot, I still have so far to go until I'm a normal, healthy weight. I'm still fat. Still. I'm not discouraged by that, though. If anything it makes me want to get there even more. So I've been comparing where I was to where I am. When I first started I was 343 lbs. My BMI was around 58. I was wearing about a size 32-34. I couldn't walk down the hall at work without losing my breath. My feet and ankles were almost always swollen and sore. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. Now my BMI is just a smidge under 40. I can wear a size 26. Not only can I walk down the hall without any issue, I can run down the hall if I choose to and not feel like I'm going to die. My feet and ankles are nice and boney again and my appearance no longer disgusts me. Every bit of that is good progress.<br />
<br />
The last time I blogged I had lost 81 lbs. I'm happy to say that as of yesterday I'm down 90 lbs. 90 lbs!!! That's only 10 lbs away from hitting 100 lbs by the end of November. And I will still be fat. But I'll only be 13 lbs away from the weight my driver's license says I am. And once I hit that, I'll only be 30 lbs from being out of the 200s. I have so much to look forward to! Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-3363974043684431782013-10-13T16:36:00.001-04:002013-10-13T16:36:02.913-04:0010-13-13 Post 3 of 3I have been a knitting fool since the middle of August. Since then I have finished a lace scarf, a lace shawl and a baby blanket. The reason for my knitting foolishness is because I realized about that time that I hadn't entered anytrhing into the fair yet and then when I did enter I became a tad ambitious and entered 3 categories: knitted lace, knitted shawl/stole and knitted scarf. I only had one thing finished, an infinity scarf that I made at the very beginning of the year. I had the lace scarf maybe about a quarter of the way done and I didn't even have a pattern for the shawl picked out. Every spare moment I've had since then has been spent knitting. I finished knitting the lace scarf on August 29. Knitting lace requires too much concentration, so I started on the baby blanket and worked on that while we were in Atlanta. As soon as we got back home I started on the shawl. I finished it the last weekend of September, just a couple days before I had to turn it in for judging.<br />
<br />
Here I am in a panel at Dragon*Con working on the baby blanket. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps90ad9ea0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps90ad9ea0.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps00b86223.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps00b86223.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
That blanket is finished now, but I haven't taken pictures yet. The top part is green. It was such a nice and easy pattern. It's going to make a very nice gift for someone. <br />
<br />
Here is the infinity scarf I entered in the fair. It won second place in its category.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps3ea5f855.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps3ea5f855.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
<br />
This is the lace scarf I entered in the fair. It won first place in its category.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps77d3b0ec.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps77d3b0ec.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps9ee05e63.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps9ee05e63.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
And this is the lace shawl I entered. It also won first place in its category.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps9e9ca9ff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps9e9ca9ff.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps59397b7c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps59397b7c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Now I have knitting fever again. Since I submitted my fair entries, I've finished the baby blanket above, another infinity scarf and I've already been thinking about what to enter next year. Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-58792579206653557032013-10-13T16:01:00.001-04:002013-10-13T16:36:17.949-04:0010-13-13 Post 2 of 3I am happy to report that I am down 81 lbs. It could be more, but I haven't weighed myself in a few weeks. I've been sick so exercise and such hasn't been first on my mind. The last week of September I got an awful cough with congestion and a fever. I feel 90% back to normal, but I still have a small cough. It's getting better every day, though. Other than exercise, I've been doing pretty good with staying on track. Some days are better than others, but that's pretty normal. Anyway, I'm 19 lbs away from my goal. It seems like I get farther and farther away from being able to meet that goal by the end of November. I have to keep remembering that life will not end if I don't make it by the end of November. It's not like all the weight is going to pile back on overnight if I don't meet it. I am still going to be awesome regardless. <br />
<br />
While I was sick, our air conditioner died. I was willing, at first, to try to wait as long as possible before getting a new ac. However, that was before I remembered how utterly and completely miserable that life without air conditioning is. I had the windows up and every fan I could find blowing right on me and I was still sweating. I am truly thankful that it wasn't July or August when it happened. Within a day I was ready to sell my left arm and any other appendage to get the air fixed. It's now fixed and I am comfortable again. Although selling my left arm and any other appendage might have come out cheaper.<br />
<br />
Before all of that happened, though we added another furkid to our family. The newest member of the family is Vex.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps6b60ba92.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps6b60ba92.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps0303f064.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x68/notbillsgirl/null_zps0303f064.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
She's so cute and she has the greatest pur, but damn she's pestering our cat, Zed, like crazy. I forgot how kittens are into everything and how everything like feet and fingers are playtoys for their amusement. Needless to say, I have cat scratches on top of cat scratches. It really is a good thing that she's so darn cute. Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-24620017225833108552013-10-13T15:22:00.002-04:002013-10-13T16:36:33.236-04:0010-13-13 Post 1 of 3<span class="btn btn-contact lozenge small left right" data-action="contact-menu"> <a dir="" href="http://us-mg6.mail.yahoo.com/neo/launch?.rand=7aebg09m2pl31#" role="button" tabindex="-1" title=""></a> </span> <br />
<div class="thread-info">
<span class="thread-date"> </span><style><!--
#yiv9942225155
_filtered #yiv9942225155 {font-family:Calibri;panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4;}
#yiv9942225155
#yiv9942225155 p.yiv9942225155MsoNormal, #yiv9942225155 li.yiv9942225155MsoNormal, #yiv9942225155 div.yiv9942225155MsoNormal
{margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri", "sans-serif";}
#yiv9942225155 a:link, #yiv9942225155 span.yiv9942225155MsoHyperlink
{color:blue;text-decoration:underline;}
#yiv9942225155 a:visited, #yiv9942225155 span.yiv9942225155MsoHyperlinkFollowed
{color:purple;text-decoration:underline;}
#yiv9942225155 span.yiv9942225155EmailStyle17
{font-family:"Calibri", "sans-serif";color:#8064A2;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;text-decoration:none none;}
#yiv9942225155 .yiv9942225155MsoChpDefault
{font-family:"Calibri", "sans-serif";}
_filtered #yiv9942225155 {margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;}
#yiv9942225155 div.yiv9942225155WordSection1
{}
--></style></div>
<div class="thread-body" id="yui_3_13_0_rc_1_1_1381688803987_3083">
<div class="body undoreset" id="yui_3_13_0_rc_1_1_1381688803987_3082">
<div id="yiv9942225155">
<div id="yui_3_13_0_rc_1_1_1381688803987_3081">
<div class="yiv9942225155WordSection1" id="yui_3_13_0_rc_1_1_1381688803987_3080">
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal" id="yui_3_13_0_rc_1_1_1381688803987_3211">
Man, do I have a lot to say this time around! So much that I'll break this up into several posts. </div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal" id="yui_3_13_0_rc_1_1_1381688803987_3217">
So, Post 1: Dragon*Con</div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal" id="yui_3_13_0_rc_1_1_1381688803987_3210">
Dragon*Con is a Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Multi-Media convention held in Atlanta, GA over Labor Day weekend every year. It encompasses 5 hotels (Hilton, Marriott, Hyatt, Sheraton and Westin) and the AmericasMart across from the Hyatt and beside the Westin. This year, with the addition of the AmericasMart, was bigger than ever. It is quite impossible to describe all that Dragon*Con is to someone who has not experienced it. One simple way is to say that it's a weekend spent with 50,000 of your closest friends, met and un-met, all geeking out over actors, tv, movies, authors, games, books all having something to do in one way or another with the sci-fi/fantasy genre. It's awesome.</div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal" id="yui_3_13_0_rc_1_1_1381688803987_3209">
We got to Atlanta on August 28. We like to go on the Wednesday before the Con so we can get re-acclimated to everything because Atlanta is vastly different to where we live. Normally we relax and nap/lay around so we can be completely rested up for when everything starts. This year, though, we decided to go to the Atlanta Aquarium. We walked instead of taking a wheeled conveyance. (activity, yay!!!) It wasn't a bad walk, but it was hilly and it was hotter than blue blazes. The best thing about the aquarium was that they had otters! River otters and sea otters, even! Anywhere that has otters is pretty darn ok in my book. I also liked that they had huge Whale Sharks and rays. They even had a tank that was modeled after a barrier reef, complete with waves. Loved it!</div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal">
Wednesday night we rested. Thursday morning we went to registration. While we were in line we made some new friends and passed the time bwfore registration opened. I worked on my knitting, which I'll talk about a little later. On Friday, the convention started. I'm not going to detail everything we saw and did. Let's face it, I do not have the memory of an elephant. Let's just say that we had a great time and stayed on the go the whole time. Two of the biggest highlights for me was getting a hug from Grant Bowler who plays Nolan on Defiance (show on SyFy channel) for my excellent Ugly Betty knowledge and getting to meet George Takei. </div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal">
Before we went to D*C we started watching another show on SyFy, Heroes of Cosplay. The show documents several men and women as they developed costumes and competed in contests at conventions around the US. I thought it was a great show that really showcased how much hard work and creativity is involved in cosplay. Overall, I thought the show was very positive, but it did voice what is possibly a prejudice in the cosplay world. I say possibly because I do know that a good bit of the show was editted to within an inch of its life and much could have been taken out of context. Several of the people on the show made comments indicating their beliefs that overweight people shouldn't cosplay certain characters. I call bullshit. If a person pays attention to detail and does the costume right, who cares if they are a size 4 or a size 34? Personally, I would love to see a plus sized woman cosplay Wonder Woman. I would love to see her confidence as she portrayed such an iconic character and showed everyone that superheroes come in all shapes and sizes. And honestly, if the thought of someone overweight cosplaying a character who is not overweight on paper or screen disgusts you, get over it. I envy the confidence of overweight people who cosplay. I wish that I had not spent so much of my life listening to so many people who said I couldn't do something because I was fat, or any other reason. I wish instead of being cowed by disapproval, I had held my head high and told them to watch me while I suceeded. Believe in yourself and make everyone else believe in you!</div>
<div class="yiv9942225155MsoNormal" id="yui_3_13_0_rc_1_1_1381688803987_3214">
<span style="color: #8064a2; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-7568726493501423872013-08-11T22:49:00.003-04:002013-08-12T07:16:57.985-04:008-11-13I have had a great weekend. A few months ago I bought tickets for my husband to see the Carolina Panthers play the Chicago Bears in Charlotte on Friday night. I took Friday off of work and we met up in Charlotte for lunch with two of my friends, Heather and Johnette, at a place called Dish. I liked the restaurant, but not so much what I ordered. I got the country fried steak which came with mashed potatoes and gravy and I got a bowl of fruit on the side. The potatoes were good, but I'm of the opinion that you can't really go wrong with real mashed potatoes. The steak, on the other hand needed a little help. It had a good flavor, but it was overly greasy and wasnt crunchy at all. However, their sweet tea was exemplary, and that makes up for greasy country fried steak.<br />
<br />
After we had lunch, we found our hotel and rested for a little while. Then we walked down Trade Street and got a little to eat and then walked to the stadium. Not being familiar with the area and not having the foresight to look at a map and plan out our walking route we followed the advice of the people at the front desk of our hotel. By doing this we probably increased our walking by at least a third. We finally got there and found our seats. Total nosebleed section. 24 rows straight up to get to our seats. For some reason I had expected the seating to be the bleacher type variety not the chairs with sides. Fat asses and tiny seats don't <span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">exactly work together. We hung out for a while and decided to get something to drink and we also decided to stop by guest services to see if we had any options for more fat friendly seating. Having to do this when you go to an event is a very humbling and embarrassing experience. While the workers are at least well trained enough not to make judgements to our faces, I will always wonder what they say after we've left. Anyway doing this caused us to have to walk all the way around the stadium twice (yay, activity!). We finally got something to drink, found our seats so that Michael could watch the game and I could watch the people (and read a trashy romance novel). Watching an NFL game is much different than watching a college game. In my opinion the NFL game was more spectacle, whereas in college football it seems like there are more people involved in the game itself. Even a non-football fan like me can't help but get caught up in the enthusiasm of the fans at a college game. That enthusiasm seemed to be missing at this game. I still had a great time, though and Michael got to cross something else off of his bucket list. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Yesterday morning we drove back home, picked up Flash at Lexington Pet Lodge (if you're looking for a really good place for grooming or to board your fur kid, look into them. They're really nice, clean, and they have no issue with you calling every day to check on your little pup. Not that I'd know or anything). We got home, took a really great nap and then went out for supper and to go see a movie. Between eating and the movie, we walked to Lane Bryant. I tried on a ton of clothes. Of course since I could only afford a few pieces, everything fit and looked nice. I ended up getting a cardigan, a top and a new pair of pants for work. The awesome news of the evening? The pants are a size smaller. I'm finally into a size 26, which is kind of like saying I'm only humongous now instead of gargantuan. I'll take it. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">I have not been doing well in my Nerdfitness challenge. I have been a total slack ass. Last week I didn't do any real exercise aside from my normal being up and about. I didn't track my food either, even though I still did well and didn't really lose control. Fitting into smaller pants has help my motivation again. Friday evening we walked 2.5 miles getting to the stadium, around the stadium and back to the hotel, Saturday we did some walking while we were out for dinner and the movie and this morning we walked for about 35 minutes. I forgot to weigh myself this morning before we left the house so I'm not sure exactly where I am at the moment. I didn't weigh myself last week either. I'm going to do my best to have a better week this week and then remember to weigh next weekend sometime. My hope is that the scale says something between 265-263. I'll be satisfied as long as it doesn't show more than 268. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">I feel good. I'm happier than I can ever really remember being. I don't feel defined by my size. I like me again. Best of all, I can look at myself in the mirror again and not be disgusted. There was a long time where I looked at only what I had to as I was getting ready for work or whatever. I couldn't point out a single thing about my appearance that I was satisfied with or liked. I can't call myself beautiful or attractive, but at least I'm not disgusting. Beautiful and attractive is a work in progress. As of right now I'm down 75 lbs and I'm 6 lbs away from my lowest weight in recent memory (2007). I'm so excited about that and all of the things that losing weight is going to allow me to do in the future. </span>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-33038986340756484352013-07-28T21:01:00.000-04:002013-07-28T21:01:04.511-04:007-28-13First of all, this morning I got on the scale and I lost another 2 lbs. 75 lbs. total loss. <br />
<br />
Tomorrow starts another 6 week challenge over on NerdFitness.com. My goals this time around aren't really much different than last time. I plan on doing my Zombies, run workout 3-4 times per week, I'm going to do 2 two days of a bodyweight routine, I'm going to walk 2 days and I'm going to continue logging my food honestly on Loseit.com. <br />
<br />
I'm ready. Went to the grocery store and have lots of good food, I have a plan for the week. I am ready. <br />
<br />
Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-2169692590158482492013-07-21T20:04:00.000-04:002013-07-21T20:04:15.320-04:007-21-13What a week! I'm glad it's over. <br />
<br />
Last Sunday was the last day of the challenge I was participating on the Nerd Fitness website. I've kind of found myself floundering since then. On Monday, one of my aunts passed away. It was expected at any time, but that never makes it any easier. Tuesday evening was the visitation and my brother came to stay the night with us because he lives in North Carolina and it was just easier for him that way. After we were done at the funeral home we came back home, stopping to pick up chinese food for supper. I had half of a General Tso's combo. Not a good choice. I would have been just as satisfied with a sandwich or a salad from home. Then, Wednesday morning we took my brother out to breakfast at IHOP. I had 3 pancakes, 3 scrambled eggs and 3 slices of bacon. Again, not a good choice for a weekday. We went to the funeral, to the graveside service and then back to the church for lunch where I scarfed down 2 pieces of fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, potato salad, green beans, 2 deviled eggs and a slice of cake. Then, if that wasn't enough, several hours later after we got home we were still hungry so we got hamburgers and fries. Thursday was no better. Let's just say that I was channeling my inner Hobbit by having breakfast and 2 lunches. Friday was a weird day. Our building had gas fumes from some work going on in the garage and it was truly awful. We stayed as long as we could, but we were all having issues with headaches, dizziness and the inability to concentrate. Most everyone ended up leaving around lunchtime. Michael took me out for lunch at our favorite Indian buffet. Saturday involved another breakfast out, Krispy Kreme doughnuts and sneak eating. It was just a bad week filled with poor food choices. <br />
<br />
This coming week, I will do better. I plan on drinking a ton of water to help distract me from eating what I shouldn't. I'm going to do my Zombies Run workout 3 days, I'm going to take a short walk at lunch 5 days. I will do my bodyweight routine 2 days. I will not spend money on food that I don't need. But mainly, I'm not going to beat myself up for having a bad week last week. Bad weeks happen, but I don't have to let them keep happening.Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-22065711933407766402013-07-14T13:38:00.001-04:002013-07-14T13:38:37.378-04:007-14-13This has been a good week. I find that it's rare to be able to say that on your first week back to work after a nice relaxing week at home. The week was super busy, but super productive. Some bad things happened, but bad things don't make a bad week, month, year or life. This coming week I'll most likely have to make lemonade out of the lemons, but once you add some vodka, it will be even better. <br />
<br />
Anyway. Last week was a good week. Foodwise, I was totally on point, except for the day that I dropped my low calorie lunch all over the counter in the kitchen at work. I ended up spending $5 and getting a sandwich and some chips from the canteen. Not the best choices, but I managed to make it fit into the rest of my day. exercise was good. I even added 2 extra days of walking. The two extra days of walking were totally because of my fitbit. It just makes me want to move more! The best part of the week, though was this morning. I got on the scale and I had lost 4 lbs! 4 lbs!!! I am proud to say that I'm 270 lbs. That makes 8 lbs in the past 4-5 weeks. 73 lbs total. 27 lbs until I can say that I have lost 100 lbs. Another 8 lbs and I will be my lowest weight since 2008 or earlier. <br />
<br />
I still find it unbelievable sometimes that I've come this far. If I think back to when I decided to start trying to lose weight, I really never thought that it would be possible to lose this much. I didn't believe in myself enought to ever think I could stick it out and be successful for this long. I'm fit to burst with pride in myself, but it's definitely tempered with a huge amount of thankfulness and grattitude. I still find myself worrying every day whether this is the day that I'll lose control and won't be able to get back on track. One day at a time, though. Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-11123316583320777942013-07-07T22:41:00.001-04:002013-07-07T22:42:16.571-04:007-7-13Happy birthday to me!! Today I celebrate my 38th year of awesomeness. Turning another year older doesn't bother me. Not yet anyway. I reserve the right to change my mind at a later date. A much later date. <br />
<br />
I hear a lot of people my age who complain about being old or feeling old. I just don't feel like I'm old or that I should feel that way when I'm only 38. Maybe it's because I truly feel that aging is a natural process that we will all (hopefully) go through, where being old is more of a mindset. For me, if I were to say I'm old, it would be like me saying that my best years are behind me and I'm starting to enter the end of my years on earth. I certainly hope that's not the case, because I have a hell of a lot more living to do. I love being the age that I am every year. Aging and accepting our age isn't a bad thing. It's all in the attitude with which we do it. <br />
<br />
Anytime I try to tell people about my viewpoint on aging versus being old i often get told that I just don't understand. I don't understand having body aches and pains that I didn't have before a certain age. They're right, I don't understand. I don't understand because I've been having those aches and pains since I was 17 and they've only gotten worse! I can't let that stop me though. I've let too much in my life stop me. <br />
<br />
Anyway, soapbox moment over. Be your age, love your age, enjoy your birthdays, because you never know when you might stop having them. <br />
<br />
Good things about this week: Birthday!!!! I've gotten to watch lots of Star Trek TNG. I had a perfectly lovely Resident Evil movie marathon yesterday. I've made a lot of progress on the blanket I'm making for the Linus Project. I bought clothes at a store that up until this week I didn't know I could fit into their clothes again. And last, but surely not least I lost another 2 lbs, bringing my total weightloss to 69 lbs. Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-17446747422116952912013-06-30T21:25:00.000-04:002013-06-30T21:25:04.032-04:006-30-13It is widely know that I do not merely have birthdays. I have birthday weeks. This is my birthday week. I have the whole week off to do whatever my little heart wants. WooHoo! This week, I'm grocery shopping (oh the excitement!), going to see a movie, taking myself out for lunch, getting a pedicure and being lazy. I worked my ass off last week, so it's especially nice to know that I get a chance to be lazy and regroup a bit. If I don't don't want to, I don't have to go anywhere, do anything. All I truly have to do is just exist. <br />
<br />
This weekend, for my birthday, I bought myself a FitBit Flex. It measures, steps, the calories you;ve burned, your sleep and probably other things that I haven't discovered yet. It's an interesting little device. I'm looking forward to seeing my numbers as I wear it. <br />
<br />
Last week was fairly boring. Super busy, but boring. I was slack on my Zombies, Run workout. I did my workout on Sunday, but Tuesday and Thursday just didn't happen. The good news is that I didn't just sit on my ass and do nothing. I had some heavy lifting and moving and stretching that I worked on every morning for work, so at least I was burning some calories. I still did my bodyweight workout and I've been keeping up with my food and activity logging, and ta da! Here's my weekly blog post. I'm proud of myself for keeping up with everything, even though this past week wasn't so great for me learning how to run from zombies. Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-43154940518640718542013-06-21T20:30:00.000-04:002013-06-30T21:26:27.318-04:006-21-13I've managed to make it through another week of my six week challenge. Still doing well. I'm proud that I've stuck with it this long. As of Sunday I'll be halfway through.<br />
<br />
Last weekend was my 20th high school reunion. It was a very small gathering. I wish more people would have come, but on the other hand I'm glad it was small. I kind of dreaded it the day of before we got there, but I recognize it was my social anxiety talking to me. I tried to at the very least say hello to all of my former classmates. It was nice to see and talk to everyone. Overall I think everyone has aged pretty gracefully. Obviously, my high school has a ton of graduates with good genes. I can truly say I'm looking forward to my 25th reunion now. I really hope more of my former classmates can join us next time. I'd really like to see if karma has kicked the people who made portions of my school life so miserable in the teeth yet. It wasn't very many who were awful to me, but the ones who were really did a good job at making me feel like less than I was.<br />
<br />
Last weekend was also important for another reason. On Sunday, my husband and I went to our local walking track and I ran in public for the first time since I was in elementary school and had to take part of the Presidential Fitness Test. Even more momentous is that even when someone else showed up I didn't let my self consciousness stop me. I hadn't even finished my ten minute warm up when they showed up, but just thought to myself, they don't know me, I don't know them, fuck it. I had zombies to out run.Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-33900834791436896432013-06-11T21:04:00.003-04:002013-06-30T21:27:05.324-04:006-11-13I wish I could talk about work. I think it would be very cathartic and stress relieving. But because I work for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man" target="_blank">"The Man</a>" I can't. See, the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2lmFCqbJcI&feature=youtube_gdata_player" target="_blank">first rule</a> about working for "The Man" is you don't talk about working for "The Man". So I will not talk about working for "The Man" except to say I enjoy my job and almost everyone I work with. It can be stressful and frustrating, but very rewarding.<br />
<br />
Stress does horrible things to me. It's no one's fault but my own though. When I get stressed I stop doing little things that make a huge difference, like making to do lists, taking regular breaks, simply breathing. I also start doing things like not sleep, drink too much caffeine, put an inhuman amount of pressure on myself to be perfect. This all leads to lovely things called panic attacks for me. Not pretty. Therapy has been invaluable to me over the past few years in recognizing my triggers and knowing how to deal with them and how to treat my panic attacks. Every day I make a to do list. Sometimes I just add to the previous day's list, but the important thing is having something where I can focus on one item at a time and see progress as I mark the items off my list. That's probably the most important thing I do that helps keep me from being overwhelmed and out of control. I also regularly meditate. I also always have to remember that I am an imperfect person living in an imperfect world and there's only so much I have in my power to do. That's what I can worry about, not what is not in my control. <br />
<br />
Like I said above, I also take a regular break for lunch during the day. Sometimes it's only half of what I'm allowed, but I do take at least half to give me an opportunity to not have to answer the phone and to just veg out watching Netflix or Hulu, whatever strikes my fancy. Right now I'm watching Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. I clearly remember watching it with my brother when I was a little girl. It didn't last long, only 2 seasons. The first season was fun to watch. I enjoyed the lightheartedness and the hokiness. The second season kind of sucks. I think they tried to be too serious and they lost the fun of the first season. Buck lost his charm. I'm having a hard time making it through the end of the second season.<br />
<br />
Anyway, that's how I handle my stress for the most part. It's all about finding what works for you like so many other things.<br />
<br />
Week 2 of my challenge on Nerdfitness is going well. I've completed 1of 3 Zombies, Run workout, I've logged my food and activity so far and with this post I've completed my weekly blog post. Tomorrow I have another <span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Zombies, Run workout, thursday I have my body weight. Exercises and Friday I have my third </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Zombies, Run workout. </span>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3753689932398131242.post-81885594044395707302013-06-05T14:20:00.000-04:002013-06-05T14:20:00.752-04:006-5-13How the hell did it get to be June already? I have had grand plans of getting back on track with my blogging ever since I got back from Boston. I've been planning things I wanted to talk about and thinking about everything I wanted to share, creating elaborate posts in my mind just waiting on that perfect day where time and space align and allow me to think of something other than work and my next meal. As you can see, that worked out really well for me.<br />
<br />
Boston was awesome. I fell in absolute love with Boston Common, the Public Gardens and the Duck Pond. We picked the perfect time to go there. Everything was in bloom and it wasn't horribly hot. The other place I fell in love with was Salem. I loved the mix of modern and old world quaintness. Everyone was super friendly and nice. For example, I found a yarn store, Seed Stitch Fine Yarns, and the people knitting and working were so wonderful! They all took time to talk with me and the person working showed me some of her favorite yarns. It was great! I would definitely recommend them and I'd love to go back.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Things I proud of about our trip:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"><br /></span>
<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">I fit in the Airplane seat without any trouble. I was even comfortable!</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">I did not get lost or killed using public transportation. Not getting lost was though no fault of my own because Denise and Michael were in charge of navigation. Not getting killed was touch and go. The T required balance to not topple over when the train started moving and strength to hang on. </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">I kept up. We did a huge amount of walking while we were in Boston. When Denise has a destination in mind and is trying to find it, she moves with a purpose and a conviction and goodness help you if you can't keep up. I might not have stayed right beside her, but I was able to stay pretty darn close. </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">I did not gain any weight while vacationing even though I ate like it was my job while we were there. </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">If you want to see my picture, and I took a lot, they're on my Facebook page. Feel free to peruse at your leisure if we're friends and if we aren't friends, why the heck not? I'm awesome and I'm pretty sure since you're reading this blog you are too. Friend me, just please send me a message to let me know who you are and where you found me. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In Boston, Denise and I talked about some things that we'd like to do someday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I started thinking about some of my goals for the future once I've lost more weight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'd like to go zip-lining, maybe skydiving, go horseback riding, go to an amusement park and ride rollercoasters, complete a 5k, shop in a regular sizes clothing store, just to name a few.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of these go hand in hand with weightloss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until I lose more weight I just won't be allowed to do some, like skydive, horseback ride, ride rollercoasters because from what I've seen they have weight limits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm getting there though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It won't be today and it probably won't be tomorrow, but one day it will happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a positive step in accomplishing my goals I've signed up to participate in a 6 week challenge on nerdfitness.com.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Part of the challenge is to come up with 4 goals to work toward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My goals:</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Train for a 5k using the Zombies Run app on my iPhone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do bodyweight exercises one day a week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Log my food and activity honestly every day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Blog once a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I feel like I've got a good realistic goals and I have a good chance of accomplishing them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't think they'll be too difficult, but they do still pose a challenge because I have a bad habit of getting lazy partway through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05773525551811303311noreply@blogger.com2