Monday, January 26, 2015

1-26-2015

I feel like the only fat girl on earth who is not choosing weight-loss surgery.

And just so I'm clear, please don't think this is a diatribe against weight-loss surgery.  As I've said before weight-loss surgery is a powerful tool if that's your choice.  It's not my choice and that's totally ok.

Anyway, I feel like the only fat girl on earth who is not choosing weight-loss surgery.  In the last few months several people I know online have announced they are having surgery.  I know one in real life who is planning it.  I also know about 5 online who have had surgery.  All of the people I know who have had surgery have a history with weightloss and gaining it back multiple times. They know how to lose it, but keeping it off was elusive.  Not my point though. The number of people I know having surgery has made me question myself. Am I doing weightloss wrong?

I would certainly hope no one thought I was doing it wrong.  After all, I've lost 100 ponnds and kept 80 off for about a year.  That's pretty damn spectacular!  (And if you don't think so, keep it to yourself.  I sometimes have impulse control issues and might end up popping you one on the nose).

Why did I not choose surgery?  The idea of surgery is scary. It almost immediately changes how you have to live and eat but offers no guarantee that you will lose the weight and keep it off.  Surgery also doesn't address the reasons I got fat to start with, although in order to remain successful the people who have surgery have to deal with it eventually anyway, from what I understand. Surgery also often offers much quicker (initially) weightloss.  Would I like weightloss to be quick? Absolutely!  Mentally, I don't think I could deal. My overall weightloss has been slow but it has given me an opportunity to get used to the newer version of myself at each step, an opportunity to wrap my head around my new life and choices.

The more I think on it the more I come to see and understand that no matter what method of weightloss you choose, as long as it's healthy and sustainable long term, how can it be wrong?  We
don't all have to choose the same thing and we don't have to justify those choices either.  I know what's the right choice for me.  Second guessing and doubting myself isn't going to change that.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

The return of the prodigal blogger

So...it's been almost a year since I've posted.  I have a hard time with consistency.   I'll try my best to do better, but I'm not making any promises.

2014 was an interesting year. In march I had my very first car accident. No one was hurt, just our car. Not too badly though.  Also in March, Flash started having awful ear infections. After several months, multiple food changes, numerous vet visits and an insane amount of money we were able to determine that he is extremely food sensitive and has to be on a special prescription food.  He can't have any regular commercial dog food or treats and can't have any people food whatsoever.  He's been doing great on his new food though. He hasn't had any problems with his ears since we switched the last time.  We went to 2 concerts.  We saw Aloe Blacc and Bruno Mars in the spring and then in July we saw Def Leppard and Kiss.  Both were fantastic.  Then, later in the summer Michael and I decided, mostly because of the massive amounts of money that we had spent taking care of Flash and getting our little cat, Vex, spayed that it wouldn't be very fiscally responsible to take out annual trip to Atlants for Dragon*Con in September, so we cancelled the trip. I was so incredibly disappointed. I love that trip.  But the good news is we started talking about other things we could start saving towards. We've pretty much decided that we're going to London in 2016.  I'm so excited!  Not looking forward to that long flight, but it'll be fine.

Weightloss-wise, I've been a complete and total slack ass.  I had lost 100 lbs.  As of this past week I have gained back about 20 lbs. I'm still considering that pretty damn successful though because it could have been a lot worse.  But before it gets worse I'm choosing to stop it.

This last time. I was here I was feeling bored and just meh on weightloss,  I stopped exercising, I stopped being as mindful about eating.  At least I didn't lose complete control. I made some bad chooses, but I remained binge-free.  This is the longest I've ever been binge free.  At the beginning of the month I planned on restarting my weightloss efforts, but it wasn't until last weekend that I was able to get my head on straight about it.  I charged up my fitbit to help keep track of my steps, I started tracking my food again...I feel hopeful and motivated again!  My overall goal is to be under 200 lbs when we go to London. Can I make it?